


The sound of love

by MangaBitch



Category: citrus - サブロウタ | citrus - Saburouta
Genre: Anxiety, Awkward Conversations, Awkwardness, Bedrooms, Books, Canon LGBTQ Female Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Caught, Cooking, Cute, Domestic Fluff, Embarrassment, Established Relationship, Exhaustion, F/F, Falling In Love, Feels, Female Homosexuality, First Love, Fluff and Humor, Fluffy Ending, Gay, Gay Panic, Healthy Relationships, Humor, Humorous Ending, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inspired by Music, Internal Conflict, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Living Together, Love, Memories, Music, Musicians, Nostalgia, One Shot, Panic, Personal Growth, Post-Reflections, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Self-Reflection, Sexuality Crisis, Short & Sweet, Short One Shot, Singing, Songfic, Summer Vacation, Surprises, Teenage Drama, Teenagers, Tension, Time Skips, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Worry, Worth It, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:22:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21825103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MangaBitch/pseuds/MangaBitch
Summary: Yuzu finds a song online that helps her deal with the internal conflict of her attraction to Mei and sexuality. Mei unintentionally overhears and ends up liking the song
Relationships: Aihara Mei & Aihara Yuzu, Aihara Mei/Aihara Yuzu
Kudos: 49





	The sound of love

**Author's Note:**

> All praise Lesbian Jesus

Yuzu lay silently on her bed, her green eyes fixed to the ceiling with silent complexity. Her headphones fixed into her ears, music echoing into her ears. Recently she had downloaded an app allowing her to stream and download music online. She had found an artist who identified as a lesbian and wrote music about women who were attracted to women. Until now she hadn't had much information to help her about her crush and eventual love for Mei, but Harumin and Matsuri had suggested trying music. As there were plenty of LGBT musicians she could enjoy and help work her feelings through.

Though at first hesitant of judgement in case she was judged, Matsuri had managed to convince her to download the app. Soon she had made herself some playlists and became addicted. The connection to the music and how it helped her moods became more therapeutic than she intentionally expected it to be. Until now she had only listened to CD's or used her phone for social media. After the shock of finding out her old friends were homophobic and how society would look at their relationship. To help her cope with her relationship with Mei, she listened to this music to calm her troubles. Until now she had never had a relationship with anyone, Mei was her first love and her first serious relationship.

She had never really met anyone else in her position, most of the girls she had previously gone to school with talked about boys, fashion and makeup. But going to an all girls school had certainly changed her life, for the better and the worst. But she had grown since then and her old school was in the past, now she had found a best friend in Harumin among many others.

_Stealing kisses from your missus, does it make you freak out?_

Yuzu felt her cheeks heat at the memory, the first time Mei had kissed her abruptly. She had freaked out for an entire week, trying to figure out what that meant. Unable to stop thinking about it, playing on repeat in her head. She had never kissed another girl before then, but over time the feeling and act became natural. How scared she had been, all the people watching and muttering about it for ages. But now it no longer bothered her at all.

_Got you fussing, got you worried_

Yuzu shifted, gripping her pillow tightly for comfort. When she first started to live alongside Mei when their parents married, she freaked out. The more she found herself attracted to Mei, she could no longer hide how flustered she got around her. Mei randomly kissing her to get her feelings across. She had been constantly worried about what Mei thought of her if she had been genuinely attracted to her in the first place. She had nobody she could speak to about it, let alone her own mother. She had been all on her own.

Soon she was able to talk about her feelings openly, more people in their friendship circle aware of their relationship. Harumin loved Yuzu as she was, being her best friend she helped it through all of her struggles. Himeko still had feelings for Mei and sometimes flirted with Mei to annoy Yuzu, however knew her boundaries and supported their relationship. Matsuri had toned down her antagonism and now looked at both girls as sisters and teased their relationship in good humour. Knowing she had a close net of supportive friends to rely on brought her so much relief.

_Scared to let your guard down, boys_

Yuzu sighed, in the past before she admitted her feelings for Mei, she would get nervous whenever she was around her. Worried she would make another random move on her without warning. At the time they were supposed to be sisters. But though Mei meant the world to her, she loved her as more than family, she was her home to return to her. All of her anxieties were chased away whenever she was around Mei, knowing what to do and what to say to make things better. But at times she was worried to show Mei weakness in case she caused her trouble.

_Saw your face, heard your name_

Yuzu smiled, reflecting on the past fondly. The first time she saw Mei she stood out like a sore thumb, a goddess among mere mortals. She never knew she would come to love Mei the way she did now. But she was so happy they had become a couple. Now whenever someone brought her up in public, her heart skipped a beat and she spouted word vomit. But all of those things were because of the effect Mei had on her heart, how deeply she had affected her. She had caught the love bug hard.

_Gotta get with you_

She couldn't help but laugh a little at that one, how much she had pushed until she finally became Mei's lover. But the payoff, in the end, was worth it, to have so many people's support. All wishing them happiness together. Putting herself at risk of getting expelled or the headteacher finding out, she had gotten a part time job just to buy them rings. No matter what, she wanted to act more like a couple with Mei, so the world knew of their love.

_Girls like girls, like boys, do_

Until now, Yuzu had been aware of the existence of same-sex couples and attraction. Understanding that they were a part of society, aside from the novels she had read. But she had never believed she herself would be in that sort of position. But she was not ashamed of the fact that she loved Mei, she was happy beyond words that they found each other. Realizing everything she had been longing for and missing when it came to romance, all of that she found with Mei by her side.

_Nothing new isn't this why we came, gotta get with you_

Yuzu hummed until now she had never really considered this, feeling as though she was the only one. People liking the same gender had existed for decades, she just happened to be someone who liked girls, she wanted to be with Mei, someone she loved. She couldn't help but smile, feeling a sense of pride and comfort as she continued to listen to the lyrics. She was so happy to have found this song, making her feel less alone. It had been more helpful than those novels had been, helping her to work out her feelings.

* * *

Mei wearily opened the front door, relieved to be out of the intensity of the summer heat. A sigh of exhaustion escaping her lips, she was very tired and hungry. Hoping that their mother or Yuzu had left food in the fridge she could reheat. Yuzu had certainly become a skilled cook, most likely due to her mother's teachings. However, it was not something she openly spoke about which was a shame, given it was a natural talent of hers.

"Yuzu? Tadaima" she called out, aware of how Yuzu had a tendency to space out a lot. Though it was a bad habit, she did find it endearing most of the time. However, she got no reply to her welcome. Usually she was bombarded with affection as soon as she walked through the door, eager to know about her day and offering all sorts to help her relax. She hummed, a sense of confusion and disappointment filling her. Slowly removing her shoes, wondering if the blonde had fallen asleep due to the heat. On one occasion she proceeded to fall asleep in the bath and catch a cold. Wondering if she had remembered to make any food.

She considered calling Yuzu's phone in case she had gone out with friends, I mean it was summer so she was bound to have plans of some kind. She then froze in her tracks, pricking up her ears as she heard a voice echoing the apartment. She could hear Yuzu singing to herself, in a peaceful but gentle tone. The consideration that she may have her headphones in now becoming an answer as to why she wasn't welcomed. Of the many hobbies Yuzu had, music was something she enjoyed most, often going to karaoke bars with Harumin.

" _I've been crossing all the lines, all the lines, kissed your girls and made you cry, boys"_

Mei was stunned, wondering where Yuzu heard that song. It was obviously about lesbians given the lyrics, just like their own relationship. But until now Yuzu had been very awkward about their relationship, so to hear her singing it so openly was a surprise. But more so, the song itself was indeed catchy and Yuzu had a lovely singing voice. She walked through the hallway to the kitchen to see Yuzu with her headphones in like she expected. Standing at the counter making lunch, as she expected which was why she had not been welcomed home in an abrupt hug like always.

Mei sighed heavily to herself, aware of how hard it was to snap Yuzu out of her train of thought. Once she got something in her head, there was not much distracting her. She was like a small child who saw a shiny toy and became obsessed. She walked silently up to her lover and placed her hand gently on her shoulder, making her aware of her presence. Yuzu jumped in surprise at the gesture, a small yelp escaping her lips.

Upon seeing Mei standing behind her, Yuzu's face coloured bright red. "M… Mei, hi. I… I was just…" she babbled shyly. Crap, she had been caught singing a lesbian song out loud, I mean their relationship until now had been private, what if Mama had been the one to walk in. She had thought she was alone. I mean singing alone was no big deal, everyone did it. But it was a private and personal thing, not something you often wanted to share with others. She just hoped Mei wouldn't tease her about it in the future.

Mei said nothing, simply removing the headphones from the phone so the music would play for them both to hear. The song echoing loudly throughout the empty apartment loudly. It had been a long day and she was looking forward to Yuzu's homemade lunch. "I'll get changed and help out" she replied bluntly, heading in the direction of their shared room. At least this wasn't as bad as the sister love comics Yuzu had once previously begun to read.

She knew Yuzu had her own ways of dealing with her sexuality, which she encouraged. Yuzu was an awkward person and had many anxieties, remembering her previous depressive state due to finding out her old friends were homophobic. But if music helped her feel more comfortable and confident, she would accept that. Music had been used to vent feelings and expressions for centuries, there was nothing bad about it whatsoever.

Yuzu panicked, a million anxious thoughts rushing through her mind a mile and hour. Could Mei be annoyed at her after all? For ignoring her and not welcoming her home? Would she avoid her again after this? "M... Mei" she stammered. Even after all this time, Mei could be so difficult to read, especially when she was flustered. She seemed to lose all train of thought and her brain turned to mush, slowly she tried to calm herself down.

Mei turned to her, her expression softening. Aware of Yuzu's anxiety at her reaction to the music. A soft smile appeared on her face to reassure Yuzu, "The music is catchy, I would like to listen as I get ready for lunch" she answered casually as she exited the room. She would probably enjoy listening to it on her own phone in private while studying. Recently, Yuzu had been helping her set up a playlist full of songs she enjoyed. Adding this to it would open new doors of music for her, to help her continue to express herself.

Yuzu was surprised by her response, half expecting to be scolded for not paying attention. But in fact, had unintentionally found something to bring her closer to Mei. "Hai!" she called happily, a beaming smile spreading across her face. She then located her speakers, continuing to play music on a louder volume so Mei could hear too.


End file.
